Brief list of bad horror flicks.  I thought the Amityville Horror franchise flicks were really bad.  But these appear to be a heck of a lot worse according to the reviewers.

Basket Case

In Basket Case, a baby is born with a parasitic twin. A small, evil parasitic twin the size of a basket ball. It grows out of the boy’s shoulder. The boys parents decide to save the “normal” twin by having the parasitic twin surgically removed.

Fast forward a few years and now the twins are all grown up. And like all siamese twins separated at birth, in which one twin was brutally removed from the other and thrown into the garbage to die, they dream of nothing else than revenge against the surgical team that separated them.  Murderous mayhem ensues.

Frankenhooker

“She’s hot. She’s Sexy. And she’s sutured to please.” When a mad scientist loses his girlfriend to a freak lawn mower accident he decides that the best way to get a new girlfriend is to chop up some prostitutes and make a new one out of spare parts. Stupid mysogynistic trash masquerading as a horror comedy.

Cannibal Ferox (a.k.a Make Them Die Slowly)

The subtitle of this movie is “make them die slowly” and the movie certainly lives up to its name. The mindless plot involves some Americans captured by cannibals in the Amazon. There is not much plot except a series of mutilations, eye removals, and gory torture.

Eaten Alive

This is yet another Italian horror movie with a cannibal theme. Americans venture into the jungle where they encounter cannibals. Eating ensues.

 

Erotic Nights of the Living Dead (1979)

A sleazy zombie cheesefest with horrible dubbing of English over the original Italian dialogue. The mouths are out of synch with the sound which adds to the fun.

A classic in the Euro-Horror zombie genre. Gratuitous sex and horrible acting. So bad its almost good.

 

A Night to Dismember

A female murderer is released from an insane assylum, suposedly cured. Then the body count begins. The film is dreadful on almost every level: the sound is awful (where are the foley artists when you need them?), the cinematography is lousy, the plot and acting are D-grade. The whole mess doesn’t make sense, so the director added a narrator that valiantly tries to make sense of the movie and explain the plot to you. The movie must be seen in order to appreciate just how brilliantly awful it is.

Night of the Bloody Apes

It’s the night of the Bloody Apes – well, actually, only one bloody ape. And he’s not really all ape, either.

You see, it seems that a mad scientist had a son with a heart defect. So he gives his son a heart from an ape, which naturally turns his meek, weakling son into a ferocious, murdering, sex crazed monkey man. What else would you expect?

 

Cannibal! The Musical

 

 

You may think that the title says it all. But no, there’s more.

The movie tells the fictionalized story of Alfred Packer, a real life 1890s pioneer who got lost in the Colorado wilderness and ended up eating his fellow expedition members. The story shifts incongruously from schmaltzy musical numbers to gory scenes of human hors d’oeuvres. One reviewer described the movie as “The Musical is Oklahoma meets Bloodsucking Freaks.”

Gingerdread Man

The ashes from an excuted killer are mixed into some cookie dough and naturally the killer comes back as a huge knife wielding murdering Ginger Bread Man. Awesome schlock, made even “better” by the fact that Gary Busey plays the part of the Gingerbread Man. Just try to picture it. The horror, the horror.

 

Santa’s Slay

It seems that truly bad horror movies always try to be clever by using an obvious pun in their title. For example: Gingerdread Man, or the awful Santa’s Slay, about a murderous Santa Claus.

What’s even funnier is that the killer Santa is played by talented actor and former wrestling star Bill Goldberg. Need I say more?

That’s all folks!

 

 

 

I have always been amazed how Janet Stewart, the current supper time TV news anchor at CBC Winnipeg, moves her mouth during her newscast.  Sometime during her career she must have taken speech lessons.  And the Instructor must have grilled into Janet that to have clear enunciation one has to exaggerate the mouth movement. 

And Janet doesn’t disappoint.  My jaw gets sore when I watch her.  It looks like she is chewing on a less than desirable cut of half cooked moose meat.  I can just imagine Janet at home in front of a mirror with clamps attached to each corner of her mouth doing a stretch exercise.  And Tom Cruise has nothing on those pearly whites that Janet diligently exposes.

But one problem that this hyperbolized enunciation seems to cause for Janet is that she can’t read the teleprompter properly.  Janet makes faux pas after faux pas as she verbalizes the news coming across the teleprompter.  Sometimes I think her mouth is going south, when her brain is going north.  Or maybe she just needs glasses.



Following the departure of the St. Paul Saints, Sioux City Explorers and Sioux Falls Canaries to the breakaway American Association, the Goldeyes became the longest tenured franchise in the Northern League. On October 13, 2010, the Goldeyes left the Northern League to join the above three in the American Association, coming along with the Fargo-Moorheag RedHawks, Gary SouthShore RailCats, and the Kansas City T-Bones for the 2011 season.

American Association of Independent Professional Baseball
Division	Team	Founded	City	Stadium	Capacity
North
	Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks	1996	Fargo, North Dakota	Newman Outdoor Field	4,513
	St. Paul Saints	1993	Saint Paul, Minnesota	Midway Stadium	6,069
	Sioux Falls Fighting Pheasants	1993	Sioux Falls, South Dakota	Sioux Falls Stadium	4,500
	Winnipeg Goldeyes	1994	Winnipeg, Manitoba	Canwest Park	7,481
Division	Team	Founded	City	Stadium	Capacity
Central	Gary SouthShore RailCats	2002	Gary, Indiana	U.S. Steel Yard	6,000
	Kansas City T-Bones	2003	Kansas City, Kansas	CommunityAmerica Ballpark	6,537
	Lincoln Saltdogs	2001	Lincoln, Nebraska	Haymarket Park	8,000
	Sioux City Explorers	1993	Sioux City, Iowa	Lewis and Clark Park	3,631
	Wichita Wingnuts	2008	Wichita, Kansas	Lawrence-Dumont Stadium	6,400
Division	Team	Founded	City	Stadium	Capacity
South	El Paso Diablos	2005	El Paso, Texas	Cohen Stadium	9,725
	Fort Worth Cats	2001	Fort Worth, Texas	LaGrave Field	4,100
	Grand Prairie AirHogs	2007	Grand Prairie, Texas	QuikTrip Park	5,445
	Pensacola Pelicans	2002	Pensacola, Florida	Pelican Park	3,000
	Shreveport-Bossier Captains	2003	Shreveport, Louisiana	Fair Grounds Field	4,300

 

The Misfits, being the horror-punk band that they are, have a special place for Halloween.  And they did a tribute song to the day that has its roots in the Celtic festival of Samhain and the Christian holiday All Saints’ Day.

Lyrics and video below:

Bonfires burning bright

Pumpkin faces in the night

I remember halloween

Dead cats hanging from poles

Little dead are out in groves

I remember halloween

Brown leafed vertigo

Where skeletal life is known

I remember halloween

This day anything goes

Burning bodies hanging from poles

I remember halloween

Halloween, halloween, halloween, halloween

Candy apples and razor blades

Little dead are soon in graves

I remember halloween

This day anything goes

Burning bodies hanging from poles

I remember

Halloween, halloween, halloween, halloween

Halloween, halloween, halloween, halloween

 

 Thomas Steen is a former pro hockey player for the Winnipeg Jets of the NHL.  He has been elected City councillor in the Elmwood-East Kildonan ward in the October 27th, 2010 Winnipeg civic election.

As a hockey player Steen was a grinder who didn’t have the greatest skills, but he would put out a 110% every game.  In a 1987 interview, he said that his focus was on creating plays for others rather than scoring goals himself.  A 1990 poll of NHL players named him as the league’s most underrated player.

Elmwood – East Kildonan

• Thomas Steen3,921 votes – 34%
• Shaneen Robinson3,705 votes – 32%
• Rod Giesbrecht3,501 votes – 30%
• Gordon Warren264 votes – 2%
• Nelson Sanderson236 votes – 2%

The new face in Elmwood-East Kildonan is familiar to anyone who’s followed the Winnipeg Jets.

Thomas Steen beat former CTV reporter Shaneen Robinson by 219 votes to replace 21-year council veteran Lillian Thomas as city councillor.

Steen also beat out a challenge by former River East School Board trustee Rod Giesbrecht.

Also running were Gordon Warren, a biofuels researcher, and Nelson Sanderson, a businessman.

The outcome of last night’s vote would’ve been completely different if Geisbrecht, who lost the NDP nomination to Robinson, hadn’t thrown his hat into that ring. That split the vote on the left to Steen’s advantage.

Issues in the race focused on crime and better use of local community centres to keep youth busy.

Winnipeg City political wards.

The City of Winnipeg has built a bikeway along Assiniboine Ave. in downtown Winnipeg.  That quiet little street will never be the same.  I walked down the street the other day and studied the new construction, also taking pictures.  And I was still very confused as to what actually was happening on the street. 

The bikeway is easy to figure out.  It is separated from the car part of the street by a round curb.  And it does have a yellow line down the middle.  But the car part of the street has been turned into one-ways on different segments of the street.  Very confusing.  But I did find a map on Chrisd.ca that does straighten out the confusion.  One problem that may arise from this is the back lanes closer to Broadway are going to be very congested with traffic.  But the cyclists should be safe from aggressive drivers.  Maybe cross country skiers can use it in the winter. 

 

 

 

 

The Assiniboine Bikeway will enhance transportation for cyclists, pedestrians and motorists and provide better connections between the Assiniboine Avenue neighbourhood and areas like Wolseley, Osborne, The Forks and downtown. The Bikeway will feature a 3.0-metre wide cycle track placed on the south side of the Assiniboine Avenue between Kennedy and Garry streets. The track will connect to an off-road bike path between Garry and Main streets alongside Bonnycastle Park.

 

 

 

The Chupacabra is a goat sucking creature that terrorizes livestock and people in parts of Latin America.  The mythology is that the creature is probably a Demon pet of Space Aliens.

Now here is a song I guarantee you will not be able to get out of your head. 

 Klazina Judith “Judy” Wasylycia-Leis (pronounced Was-aH-lish-aH-lease) (born August 10, 1951) has reportedly been brain storming with Blue Bombers head coach Paul LaPolice to revive her political lease on life.  LaPolice and Wasylycia-Leis apparently were discussing ways to pull off a all-out blitz to sack Sammy and sideline him for good.

LaPolice has strategized that the Wasylycia-Leis campaign should conduct an unrelenting offensive attack with a shotgun passing game and not be satisfied with field goal attempts.  At one point LaPolice stumbled and called Wasylycia-Leis the Beast of the East who is the Best in the West.   But he later retracted that statement stating he had gotten Judy’s campaign  mixed up with an old Bomber fight song.

The Wasylycia-Leis — LaPolice team is expecting the champagne to flow Wednesday night.  LaPolice did warn however that any errant late passes by Waylycia-Leis could be intercepted by Sam and returned for 6 points in the polls.  A late sack by the Wasylycia-Leis team could be the final helmet blow that could bust up Sam and put him on the practice squad for good, LaPolice contends.  After losing three quarterbacks this season to injuries LaPolice hopes that Wasylycia-Leis is not his next big let down.  “At this point in my career I need a win desperately,” LaPolice mused.  Even if the big game this time is the Winnipeg Mayoral race.  Judy is my last hope to get a good nights sleep LaPolice added.  If I lose this battle due to Judy fumbling the ball at the last minute I’m going to start revising my play book and overall football philosophy.  LaPolice then said he was going to the Rexall drug store to load up on sleep aids.

Glenn Beck and the cult of paranoia

The American right-wing has been slugging back the Loco juice again.  The louder ones have always been big dumb idiots, but the current crop is literally full of wackos.  The acrimony is more profound than ever.  But the bitterness is combined with absolutely strange, bizarre paranoid ideas. 

By Michael Wolraich, Special to CNN //

‘October 25, 2010 11:48 a.m. EDT’

Editor’s note: Michael Wolraich is a founder of the political blog dagblog.com and the author of “Blowing Smoke: Why the Right Keeps Serving Up Whack-Job Fantasies about the Plot to Euthanize Grandma, Outlaw Christmas, and Turn Junior into a Raging Homosexual.”

(CNN) — November 8, 1994: It was a slaughter. In one night, Republicans seized 54 seats in the House and eight seats in the Senate, capturing Congress for the first time since 1954.

The newcomers, many from the South, were predominantly white, male and angry. “You’re going to have a difference in style,” predicted an Atlanta-based Republican pollster. “With the Southern Republicans, you get a more aggressive, assertive conservatism. This is a conservatism that has been built on confronting Democrats and liberals, not accommodating them.”

Conservative leaders credited Rush Limbaugh, king of angry white men, with propelling the Republican revolution. “He was the standard by which we ran,” said former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay.

The Heritage Foundation, a conservative think tank, invited Limbaugh to deliver the keynote at its orientation for new lawmakers. Limbaugh encouraged the newcomers to stay mean: “This is not the time to get moderate. This is not the time to start trying to be liked.”

The newcomers listened. Led by House Speaker Newt Gingrich, the angry white men of Capitol Hill shut down the government and spent the next six years trying to drive Bill Clinton from office.

Those were the days, my friend. We thought they’d never end.

November 2, 2010: Four years after recapturing Congress, Democrats are again cowering in expectation of a brutal Election Day beating. Rush Limbaugh is still angry, but some of this year’s Republican candidates take their cues from someone new: Glenn Beck.

Where Limbaugh was angry, Beck is paranoid. In his land of make-believe, devious enemies have infiltrated the government and are plotting to destroy America. Every significant phenomenon, from the recession to the BP oil spill, is part of their master plan. Their final objective is a fascist-communist-Big Brother-world-government-über-tyranny, and they will annihilate anyone who interferes, which is why Beck frequently asks listeners to pray for his safety.

Just as Republicans channeled Limbaugh’s anger in 1994, many of today’s Republican nominees exhibit Beck’s paranoia. For instance, Rand Paul, the Republican Senate nominee from Kentucky, has described a secret plot to merge the United States into a North American Union under a single currency, sealed by a colossal 10-lane highway from Mexico to Canada.

“It’s gonna go up through Texas, I guess, all the way to Montana,” he explained.

“If you talk about it like it’s a conspiracy,” he said, “they’ll paint you as a nut. … But I guarantee you it’s one of their long-term goals to have one sort of borderless mass continent.”

Bill Randall, a Republican congressional nominee from North Carolina, speculated that the government has colluded with BP to create the oil spill: “Now, I’m not necessarily a conspiracy person, but I don’t think enough investigation has been done on this. … I don’t know how or why, but in that situation, if you have someone from a company proposing to violate the safety process and the government signing off on it, excuse me: Maybe they wanted it to leak.”

Sharron Angle, Republican Senate nominee from Nevada, has spoken of armed resistance to tyranny.

“You know, our founding fathers, they put that Second Amendment in there for a good reason, and that was for the people to protect themselves against a tyrannical government,” she warned. “I hope that’s not where we’re going, but, you know, if this Congress keeps going the way it is, people are really looking toward those Second Amendment remedies and saying, my goodness, what can we do to turn this country around?”

Christine O’Donnell, Republican Senate nominee from Delaware, checks for political opponents hiding in her bushes.

“They’re following me,” she insisted. “They follow me home at night. I make sure that I come back to the townhouse, and then we have our team come out and check all the bushes and check all the cars to make sure that — they follow me.”

Some Democrats have cheered these wild-eyed candidates, believing that extremists won’t win elections. But history contradicts faith in Americans’ moderation.

When militant conservatives seized control of the Republican Party in December 1992, one Democratic analyst gloated, “They are silencing the more moderate elements in their party and seeking an ideological purity from the right. A marginalized, right-wing Republican Party will be less competitive with Bill Clinton in 1996 than a more inclusive and centrist Republican Party.”

But while the relatively moderate Bob Dole lost to Clinton, conservative shock troops swarmed into Congress and hobbled his presidency.

The way things are going, the incoming Republicans of 2010 will make the class of 1994 look like pragmatic centrists. If so, we can look forward to years of partisan gridlock and poisonous incriminations.

In the words of Glenn Beck, “Buckle up, because trouble is coming.”

Tea Party disgrunts:

 

Winnipeg Zombie Walk 2010.  The living dead took back the streets from the thugs and bums, for a while at least.