Archive for the ‘Comedy’ Tag

ASIAN WOMEN REVEAL SECRETS TO KEEPING A MAN HAPPY   12 comments


 

Weekly World News

By Foxington Delaware on May 17, 2012

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

Asian women share tips on how to catch a man and keep him happy.

For generations Asian women learned how to treat a man by following rules laid down by Thai philosopher Sunthron Phu in his book Maxims for Teaching Women.  Now they’ve taken his words of wisdom that have been passsed down fro more than 2,000 years and updated them to deal with men in 2012.

Here are the winning recommendations for Western women who want to trade be successful in love and marriage:

1) YOUR MAN IS KING – Remember that your man/husband comes first – before you, your parents, your outside interests or even your children.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

2) RISE EARLY.  Get up in the morning before your man does.  Make sure you prepare a healthy breakfast so he gets a good start on the day.  Even if you have to leave before him, make sure he has a nice breakfast waiting for him when he comes into the kitchen in the morning.

3) NEVER NAG.   Never, ever. If he wants to stop off after work and have a few drinks with his buddies, that’s his business.  If he forgot to take out the garbage – do it yourself.

4) BE AT HOME.  Make sure you’re always at home when he gets in from a hard day at the office.  Even if you are working, make sure you get home to your man/husband as soon as possible.

5) SMILE.   Always greet your man with a smile on your face and, if you can, a cold drink in your hand.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

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6)  DINNER READY.    If you are home, or get home first, always have a delicious dinner ready to be served. And if he comes home feeling tense, give him a massage to ease his aches and pains.

7) LET HIM HANG WITH FRIENDS.  If your man wants to have his buddies over for a night of poker, or football, or video games, don’t  get mad. Encourage it and make sure you’ve got lots of sandwiches and cold beer on hand to serve them.

8)  ASK FIRST.  Always ask him first before you go spending his hard-earned money, or even your hard-earned money, to buy something for yourself.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

9)  REMOTE CONTROL.   Let him choose the programs you watch onteleveision.   The television is man’s domain… he should be in charge.  And only Netflix/rent HIS  favorite movies or TV shows.

10)  OBEY.  Don’t do things your husband doesn’t approve of.  And don’t complain about it. If he doesn’t want you wasting your time watching soap operas or having coffee with a neighbor, obey him.  You’ll both be happier for it.

11)  WILD IN BED.  Be a temptress in bed.  If he likes you in sexy lingerie, wear it.  Be shy and demure when you’re out in public, but once the lights are out, let him know he’s the only man in the world who can please you.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

12)  KNOW SPORTS.  Bone up on sports so you’ll have something to talk about. But always let him start the conversation.

13)  KEEP FIT. Keep yourself in shape and always dress nicely so you’ll be a wife any husband would be proud to have.

14) CLEANING.  Keep your home spic and span at all times.  It should look like you’re expecting company.  And the laundry should always be done.  Your man  should never have to look for clean socks or underwear and his shirts should all be ironed – by you.

Follow ALL these steps and you will be happy for the rest of your life!


 

Posted December 17, 2016 by markosun in Uncategorized

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What’s Up Tiger Lily?   Leave a comment


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Fifty years ago—in the perfect pop culture year of 1966—Woody Allen did his first film project for American International Pictures, home to Roger Corman, monsters, bikers, acid heads and futuristic Death Races looking way forward to the year 2000. I say film project as he didn’t make his first film, he sort of stole it! Legally.

Basically Allen took the Japanese action film International Secret Police: Key of Keys and re-dubbed the dialogue, changing the plot to make it revolve around a secret egg salad recipe being fought over by rival James Bond-type spy characters. The film became What’s Up Tiger Lily? and was quite well received. The idea had been done before of course, on a smaller scale by Rocky and Bullwinkle creator Jay Ward for his Fractured Flickers TV series in 1963, and surely others had toyed with the concept, but not in a feature length film. The opportunities for juvenile, MAD Magazine humor were endless and very funny.

Posted February 2, 2016 by markosun in Uncategorized

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“The Bickersons”, the couple that put M in the word Marriage, and the M stands for Misery.   Leave a comment


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Posted December 13, 2015 by markosun in Uncategorized

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George W. Bush announces his candidacy   Leave a comment


Oh NO! Not Again!

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Posted December 13, 2015 by markosun in Uncategorized

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Archie Bunker: The King of Political Incorrectness   Leave a comment


The sixties were a very liberal decade. This Archie Bunker stuff could never been done today.  There would be camp-outs and demonstrations to stop this meanness.  An ignorant blue-collar guy today must be confused.

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Archibald “ArchieBunker is a fictional character from the 1970s American television sitcom All in the Family and its spin-off Archie Bunker’s Place, played to acclaim by Carroll O’Connor. Bunker, a principal character of the series, is a veteran of World War II, reactionary conservative, blue-collar worker and family man. Described as a “lovable bigot”, he was first seen by the American public when All in the Family premiered on January 12, 1971, where he was depicted as the head of a family. In 1979, the show was retooled and renamed Archie Bunker’s Place, finally going off the air in 1983. Bunker lived at the fictional address of 704 Hauser Street in the borough of Queens in New York City.

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Archie quotes:

 

No bum that can’t speak poifect English oughta stay in this country…oughta be de-exported the hell outta here!

Don’t talk like an ignarosis.

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don’t wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one.

Yankin’ out the tonsils and the adenoods.

We hold these semi-animal meetings.

It passes outta you through your lower intestubes.

After once or twice a thing like this gets vulgarious.

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More quotes:

U.S. history….that’s part of your whole American heresy.

You don’t hear me gettin’ historical (hysterical).

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth.

I’m readin’ in the paper where the CIA is dopin’ people up. Maybe somebody injected some of that LSD in the lady’s cottage cheese.

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Histororical

That’s what Columbus said to the Indians just before he gypped ’em out of Manhattan.

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Posted November 28, 2015 by markosun in Uncategorized

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The Three Stooges at Their Best   Leave a comment


The Stooges have some scenes that are sensational. Nothing like a prison skit where a horse pulling a cart is in jail stripes. What did the poor equine do to get sentenced to the work yard?

In the next clip the boys have inhaled laughing gas and taken prisoner in a foreign war. This is one of the best rapid triple-rap-a-dap slap scenes ever.

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Posted November 3, 2015 by markosun in Uncategorized

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President Obama becomes Comedian in Chief at the White House Correspondents Dinner   Leave a comment


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Posted April 27, 2015 by markosun in Uncategorized

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