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The Canadian election has been all about hair, scandals and swearing.

One of Stephen Harper’s supporters hit the headlines last week when he verbally abused a group of journalists questioning the prime minister’s knowledge about an ongoing expenses scandal that dates back to 2012.

CBC reporter Hannah Thibedeau was confronted by an unnamed man who, using explicit language, told her she – and the rest of the media – was a “lying piece of …” after she grilled him about the Mike Duffy case, a senator facing charges of bribery and fraud.

But that is nothing compared to what happened today.

First Justin:

Look who’s name has been revealed in the latest infidelity scandal.

Not getting enough bacon at the homestead I guess. He does have nice hair though.

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Speaking of hair, Thomas Mulcair:

With all the hair talk going on lately, NDP leader Thomas Mulcair felt left out, and insulted. Some pundits accused the wannabe Prime Minister of not giving a crap about his appearance, including facial and head grooming. Mulcair can come across as somewhat dishevelled and untidy. It has been reported that Tom hired some personal modification experts from New York City to improve his physical appeal. The experts came up with the idea that he needs to change his hair. A Hip-hop barber from Toronto took on the job. The finished product is quite astounding.

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Stephen Harper has been accused of wearing a wig for a long time now. Some people also criticized the Prime Minister of having the demeanor of a robot. Well it turns out both allegations are true!  At a campaign function in Goose Bay Labrador today, Stephen’s face started to fall off. The space where there used to be skin was now made up of some kind of futuristic circuit boards. This guy is not human after all!

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God help the Canadian voters, what could be next? Mike Duffy is actually a blow-up doll!

CNN

The billions of dollars spent on militaries in this world could be spent on much more righteous endeavors. However, past history and geopolitical strategy has determined that this is the direction countries take due to nationalism and self-interest.  Countries have a certain amount of paranoia, and strong militaries reduce these fears. The United States is always on the lookout for bad guys ready to attack, the U.S. often sees evil doers where none exist. But they do read the signals right most of the time, and the U.S. military is ready for any belligerent that wants to start a fight.

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The USS Seawolf, shown here in support of European operation in 2015, is the lead vessel in the three boat Seawolf class. The Seawolf and the USS Connecticut, the second boat in the class, displace 9,138 tons and are 353 feet long.

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The Seawolf-class attack submarine USS Jimmy Carter is moored in a Washington state facility that reduces a ship’s electromagnetic signature in 2006. The Jimmy Carter is 100 feet longer than the first two subs in its class. The extra space is for a “multimission platform,” the Navy says. “The hull section provides for additional payloads to accomodate advanced technology used to carry out classified research and development and for enhanced warfighting capabilities.” Possibly delivering Navy SEALS to hostile environments?

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A dolphin swims in front of the Navy’s newest submarine, the attack submarine USS John Warner, during sea trials this May. The Warner is a Virginia-class attack sub, these subs displace 7,800 tons and are 377 feet long, They “are designed to seek and destroy enemy subs and surface ships; project power ashore with Tomahawk cruise missiles and special operations forces (SOF); carry out intelligence, surveillance, and reconnaissance (ISR) missions; support battle group operations; engage in mine warfare,” according to the Navy. Twelve subs are active, five are building and the class will eventually reach 48 submarines.

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The US Navy has 14 ballistic missile submarines, also called boomers, in service. The boomers, displacing 18,750 tons submerged and 560 feet long, can carry 24 nuclear-armed Trident II ballisitic missiles and serve as nuclear deterrents. Here, Ohio-class ballistic-missile sub USS West Virginia departs Norfolk Naval Shipyard in 2013 after an engineering overhaul.

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In addition to the 14 ballistic missile subs of the Ohio class, 4 subs of the class have been converted to conventional missile submarines. The 4 boats, Ohio, Florida, Michigan and Georgia are loaded with Tomahawk cruise missiles as well they are capable of deploying SOF soldiers, IE SEALS.

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The Los Angeles-class nuclear attack submarine USS Hampton surfaces through Arctic ice in March 2014. The Los Angeles-class is the biggest in the Navy’s sub fleet, with 41 now in commission. These subs displace 6,900 tons and are 360 feet long. The class was introduced in 1976.

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Vladimir Putin was at it again today as video was released showing the robust president working out in a gym. Vlad’s handlers like to show the president as appearing vigorous and energetic.

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The V-neck and sweats don’t do him any favors, and the giant gloves make him look like a giant dork. They look like welders gloves.

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Not to be outdone, Barack Obama is heading to the wilds of Alaska to test his survivor skills on Bear Grylls show. Bear is an ex SAS commando in the British army.

Obama is due to tape an episode of Running Wild with Bear Grylls to observe the effects of climate change on the area, NBC said. He is the first president to appear on the show, to be aired later this year.

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President Obama practicing outdoor survival with daughter Malia

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So is Obama trying to counter the sassy Putin persona? Maybe it is time for a no holds barred G-2 Summit with these two political leaders hitting the ring.

 

 

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In Russia they are selling figurines of Putin riding a bear, of course he is shirtless.

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Obama’s counter version

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Roger Ebert funny reviews.

Roger Joseph Ebert (June 18, 1942 – April 4, 2013) was an American film critic and historian, journalist, screenwriter and author. He was a film critic for the Chicago Sun-Times from 1967 until his death in 2013. In 1975, Ebert was the first film critic to win the Pulitzer Prize for Criticism. As of 2010, his reviews were syndicated to more than 200 newspapers in the United States and abroad. Ebert also published more than 20 books and dozens of collections of reviews.

Ebert and Chicago Tribune critic Gene Siskel helped popularize nationally-televised film reviewing when they co-hosted the PBS show Sneak Previews, followed by several variously-named At the Movies programs. The two verbally sparred and traded humorous barbs while discussing films. They created and trademarked the phrase “Two Thumbs Up,” used when both hosts gave the same film a positive review. After Siskel died in 1999, Ebert continued hosting the show with various co-hosts and then, starting in 2000, with Richard Roeper.

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In Cartoon-land Siskel and Ebert sparred for real!

Video below

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But first the reviews:

Armageddon (1998):

“Here it is at last, the first 150-minute trailer. Armageddon is cut together like its own highlights. Take almost any 30 seconds at random, and you’d have a TV ad. The movie is an assault on the eyes, the ears, the brain, common sense, and the human desire to be entertained. No matter what they’re charging to get in, it’s worth more to get out.”

Baby Geniuses (1999):

“This is an old idea, beautifully expressed by Wordsworth, who said, ‘Heaven lies about us in our infancy.’ If I could quote the whole poem instead of completing this review, believe me, we’d all be happier. But I press on.”

Battle: Los Angeles (2011):

“Young men: If you attend this crap with friends who admire it, tactfully inform them they are idiots. Young women: If your date likes this movie, tell him you’ve been thinking it over, and you think you should consider spending some time apart.”

Battlefield Earth (2000):

“Battlefield Earth is like taking a bus trip with someone who has needed a bath for a long time. It’s not merely bad; it’s unpleasant in a hostile way.”

Catwoman (2004):

“The director, whose name is Pitof, was probably issued with two names at birth and would be wise to use the other one on his next project.”

Dice Rules (1991):

“Dice Rules is one of the most appalling movies I have ever seen. It could not be more damaging to the career of Andrew Dice Clay if it had been made as a documentary by someone who hated him. The fact that Clay apparently thinks this movie is worth seeing is revealing and sad, indicating that he not only lacks a sense of humor, but also ordinary human decency.”

Dirty Love (2005):

“Dirty Love wasn’t written and directed, it was committed. Here is a film so pitiful, it doesn’t rise to the level of badness. It is hopelessly incompetent… I am not certain that anyone involved has ever seen a movie, or knows what one is.”

Freddy Got Fingered (2001):

So great it gets two entries.

“Then he visits his friend in the hospital. A woman in the next bed goes into labor. [Tom Green] rips the baby from her womb and, when it appears to be dead, brings it to life by swinging it around his head by its umbilical cord, spraying the walls with blood. If you wanted that to be a surprise, then I’m sorry I spoiled it for you.”

“This movie doesn’t scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn’t the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn’t below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn’t deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels.”

The Frighteners (1996):

“Last year, I reviewed a nine-hour documentary about the lives of Mongolian yak herdsmen, and I would rather see it again than sit through The Frighteners.”

Godzilla (1998):

“Going to see Godzilla at the Palais of the Cannes Film Festival is like attending a satanic ritual in St. Peter’s Basilica…It was the festival’s closing film, coming at the end like the horses in a parade, perhaps for the same reason.”

Jason X (2001):

“’This sucks on so many levels.’ Dialogue from Jason X; rare for a movie to so frankly describe itself. Jason X sucks on the levels of storytelling, character development, suspense, special effects, originality, punctuation, neatness and aptness of thought.”

North (1994):

“I hated this movie. Hated, hated, hated, hated, hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it.”

A Taste of Cherry (1997):

“A case can be made for the movie, but it would involve transforming the experience of viewing the film (which is excruciatingly boring) into something more interesting, a fable about life and death. Just as a bad novel can be made into a good movie, so can a boring movie be made into a fascinating movie review.”

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003):

“I like good horror movies. They can exorcise our demons. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre doesn’t want to exorcise anything. It wants to tramp crap through our imaginations and wipe its feet on our dreams. I think of filmgoers on a date, seeing this movie and then — what? I guess they’ll have to laugh at it, irony being a fashionable response to the experience of being had. … Do yourself a favor. There are a lot of good movies playing right now that can make you feel a little happier, smarter, sexier, funnier, more excited — or more scared, if that’s what you want. This is not one of them. Don’t let it kill 98 minutes of your life.”

The Peg is a nickname of Winnipeg, pretty lame.

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Pump House upscale restaurant. Wine bottles in the window.

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New hotel named Le Mere, I think.

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Waterfront drive. Just 10 years ago there was nothing here.

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62M condo building shaped like a UFO, under construction. Lots of wood going into the structure.

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A World War I statue that was very controversial when it was put up. It shows a fallen comrade. Many decades ago that was politically incorrect.

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An area of St. Boniface where many people of Belgian heritage hang out.

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The famous Belgian Club.

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In the club a replica of the little man peeing statue, it is a famous landmark in Brussels, Belgium.

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The Bridle Path is an upscale residential neighbourhood in the former city of North York, now part of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, that is characterized by large multi-million dollar mansions and two to four acre (8,000 to 16,000 m²) lot sizes. It is often referred to as “Millionaires’ Row”. It is the most affluent neighbourhood in Canada with an average household income of $936,137,^[1] as well as by property values with an average dwelling value of $2.24M.

Although “The Bridle Path” is in fact the name of a road in the area, the term generally applies to the neighbourhood as a whole. It is bounded by The Bridle Path on the north, Sunnybrook Health Sciences Centre on the south, Bayview Avenue on the west and Wilket Creek on the east. Few roads pass through the area, contributing to the area’s exclusivity. House prices in the Bridle Path are varied, but they are mostly well in excess of a million dollars. It is a secluded neighbourhood, surrounded by the Don River Valley and lush parklands.

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Mansion under construction

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The Bridle Path has been home to prominent Toronto business people, celebrities and doctors. Media mogul Moses Znaimer used to call the Bridle Path home, while computer businessman Robert Herjavec, former newspaper baron and convicted businessman Conrad Black still own homes in the Bridle Path area. Prince was said to have purchased a home in the Bridle Path for $5.5 million, although his recent divorce, concert tour rigours, and weight loss have meant few sightings of him. “Casino King of Macau” Stanley Ho owns a High Point Road home purchased in 1987 for a record $5.5 million and currently worth C$27 million.

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There are rooms in these giant houses that the owners won’t even enter for months at a time.

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Burning Man is a week-long annual event that began in San Francisco’s Baker Beach in 1986 and migrated to the Black Rock Desert in northern Nevada. The event begins on the last Monday in August, and ends on the first Monday in September, which coincides with the American Labor Day holiday. It takes its name from the ritual burning of a large wooden effigy, which is set alight on Saturday evening. The event is described as an experiment in community, art, radical self-expression, and radical self-reliance. Burning Man is organized by Black Rock City, LLC and has been running since 1986. In 2010, 51,515 people attended Burning Man. 2011 attendance was capped at 50,000 participants and the event sold out on July 24; the attendance rose to 65,922 in 2014.

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A large gathering of 21st century hippies partying hard

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A mechanically inclined anti-establishment do-it-your-selfer must have built this contraption.

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Drones go where no one has gone before, and in this video one caught someone sunbathing high atop a colossal wind turbine in Rhode Island. The pilot planned to only film the turbine, but his camera noticed something odd. There was a man napping, catching some rays high atop the turbine, 200 feet up! Roused by the rotary blades of the drone, the sunbathing gentleman woke from his nap and then sat, sat up and cheerily waved. 

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